My Wife is Leaving - What Do I Do? 3 Tips For Saving Your Marriage

Marriage is a sacred contract between two loving individuals. The vast majority of people who get married do so with the idea that they will never fall out of love or want a divorce. But, it is well-known that the average divorce rate in developed countries hovers at about 50% - and even higher for second and third marriages.

You may now find yourself in the position whereby your wife has indicated that she is leaving you. This may have been something that you have seen coming for a long time, or it may come as a total surprise to you. But, even if the news is a surprise, it is likely that you have been aware at some level for quite a while that things were not as perfect as you wanted them to be.

Now, the big question that you face is: what should your next move be?

If you are saying to yourself, "My wife is leaving - what do I do?", here are 3 tips for saving your marriage:

1. Find out how serious she is and whether she has a concrete timeline for leaving you:

Remember, your emotions at this stage are probably running very deep, but this is precisely when you need to keep a cool head. The next few days and weeks are crucial for determining the way things will unfold.

First things first: you need to become like a detective and find out the facts about her plans. Set aside a few minutes to speak with your wife, either in person or on the phone. Check the drama and accusations at the door. At this point, your goal should be to confirm what her timeline for leaving is. Has she set a date for leaving? Where will she go? If you have kids together, does she plan to take the kids with her?

2. Have a conversation with her to confirm her honest feelings on your relationship, but leave your agenda at the door for now:

Now, a few days later, set up a time to have a more in-depth talk with your wife. Without cornering her or putting pressure on her, find out how she really feels about your relationship. What are her real grievances about the marriage, and can they be overcome? Has she found someone else? Does she still love you?

Remember, even if she gets accusatory during this conversation or if she blames you for everything, this is NOT the time to get defensive. Just quietly hear her out. Focus on the feelings, not the factual nature, of what she is saying.

3. Put together a plan for saving your marriage:

Based upon the information you gather during #1 and #2 above, your next move should be to decide whether you still want to remain in the marriage. If you still love your wife and believe she still loves you too, you can potentially make this work. You will need to put together a plan to make it happen.

Consider these 3 tips as you decide what to do next after finding out that your wife is leaving you.